2023 NFL: Previewing Week 5

Living in the past isn’t healthy. But I’m going to do it anyway.

I often think back to my school days. Every year would start with optimism and a new attitude. Things will be different. Homework will get done on time. Tests will be studied for. My parents can rest assured that the previous underachievement will be just a bad memory.

Then the first quarter would end and the report card would arrive. And the truth would lie plain on that folded stationery. Homework didn’t get done. Tests were taken without preparation. Underachievement would be an understatement.

Parents would sigh. What are we going to do with this kid?

Life for rookie quarterbacks in the NFL can be similar. When their names are called on draft night, the future looks bright. Analysts shower praise on their ability and point to their success at the college level. Greatness is almost assured.

But now we’re four games into the 2023 season and it’s report card time. So, let’s review the performance of the three quarterbacks taken in the first round this year and assign grades.

BRYCE YOUNG: C-

The Panthers traded draft capital – including their first-round pick in 2024 – and wide receiver D.J. Moore to move up and take the Alabama product with the No. 1 overall pick. And at the risk of sounding overly harsh, the returns haven’t been great.

Granted, Young didn’t exactly enter a strong situation in Carolina. Most teams don’t have the top pick because they were doing well. They can’t run the ball and their receivers apparently have a problem getting open. And Young’s stats reflect that.

He’s played three games and has 503 yards passing, two touchdowns, two interceptions and two fumbles – one of which was returned 51 yards for a touchdown against the Vikings last Sunday. The team has only scored two offensive touchdowns over those three games and Young’s longest completion is just 22 yards.

Oh, the Panthers are also 0-4. Yuck.

I could make the argument that Young should get a D, but I’m grading on a curve here. He doesn’t have a lot of help. And I’m not sure things are going to get easier going forward. The Panthers have two road games coming up against the Lions and Dolphins. After their bye week, they have two games at home against the Texans and Colts – the other two teams who took a first-round quarterback this year.

Right now, let’s just hope he keeps developing and doesn’t get hurt.

ANTHONY RICHARDSON: B-

I’ll admit to being a jerk about this young man. I just didn’t understand why the Colts took him with the No. 4 overall pick. Yes, he has all the measurables that make pro scouts drool, but I typically like to see my rookie quarterbacks coming off very successful college careers. And Richardson’s run at Florida was mediocre, at best. He was very inconsistent. And my thought was: If he can’t dominate college competition, what chance does he have at the NFL level?

Well, not all rookie quarterbacks are alike. While it’s true that he has a long way to go before being considered a solid pro passer, he’s doing what he can in the meantime. His dual threat ability is good enough for now.

Take, for example, last Sunday’s game against the Rams. After a shoddy first half that eventually saw the Colts fall into a 23-0 hole, he kept his cool and rebounded. He started hitting some throws, making more plays with his legs and wouldn’t you know it, brought Indy all the way back to tie it up late in the fourth quarter. And had Indy got a possession in overtime, he probably would have won that game.

That took moxie. And I like guys with moxie. What I like more is that the Colts could get Jonathan Taylor back in the lineup. The team took the running back off the PUP list after a well publicized contract disagreement and barring a trade, could get him back in the lineup as soon as this weekend. Adding Taylor to Richardson’s running ability and you’ve got an offense that has some serious potential.

Here’s hoping Taylor sticks around.

C.J. STROUD: A

I don’t want to say that I doubted the Ohio State product, but I was pretty “meh” on him. I was wrong as I often am. The Texans must be very grateful that they were able to draft Stroud instead of Bryce Young, because he’s been a revelation through the team’s first four games.

He has a 100.6 passer rating, six touchdown passes and still hasn’t thrown an interception, which is a staple for a typical rookie quarterback. And his performance at home against the Steelers was excellent as he threw for 306 yards in an impressive 30-6 victory that evened the Texans’ record at 2-2. He has shown poise and has solid accuracy.

I can’t say enough good things about him. My only quibble is that he’s probably going to get more nods for the offensive rookie of the year award, even though Puka Nacua is more deserving.

In the meantime, kudos to Stroud. I can’t wait to see more out of him.

NFL’S TOP 10

1. 49ers – I’ll admit it: I’m very annoying when it comes to Brock Purdy. He was nearly flawless against the Cardinals, but I’m developing the bad habit of critiquing his every completion. I’ll say to myself, “Oh, big deal, look how wide open the receiver was. My grandmother could have completed that one and she passed away years ago.” Then he made one beautiful back shoulder throw to Brandon Aiyuk that made me shut my trap. Sigh, I’m the worst. And San Francisco is the best. No doubt about that.

2. Bills – Remember when I had the Dolphins in the No. 2 spot last week? It’s amazing what one blowout can do to change your mind. If Buffalo’s defense can throttle a red-hot Miami offense that way, they get my respect. And wow, is Josh Allen erasing the memory of his putrid Week 1 performance fast. Impressive stuff.

3. Eagles – There’s plenty to nitpick here. There are some things about Philly’s defense that bother me, even though they’re second in the league against the run. You can throw the ball on them and they might be a little too reliant on turnovers, which isn’t a consistent metric. Their sack numbers are also down – after leading the league last season, they’re now in the middle of the pack. But, they’re 4-0, so how much is there to complain about, really?

4. Dolphins – I said last week that I was worried about their defense, mainly because they hadn’t really been tested yet. Well, they flunked against the Bills, who scored 48 points on them. They got the little brother treatment. Ooof. But the good news is, they’ve got glorified scrimmages coming up against the hapless Giants and clueless Panthers before a Sunday night game against the Eagles. They’ll be fine.

5. Cowboys – Now that was more like it. Not sure what happened to the Dallas defense in Week 3, but against the Patriots on Sunday, they looked like their normal selves. That’s a relief, because if they had tripped again, I was going to walk back my excitement about this team being a true Super Bowl contender. It’s the NFL, weird losses happen.

6. Ravens – I’m really enjoying this team – aside from that weird loss to the Colts. They’ve had some injuries, but they’ve stayed strong. Especially on defense, where they’re third in the league in yards per game, fourth in points per game and fourth in sacks. Oh, and they still have Lamar Jackson and his 104.2 passer rating playing quarterback. He just needs to take care of the football and he’s getting sacked more times than I care for.

7. Chiefs – How are the defending champions this low? I don’t know, you tell me. Can you say they’ve been really impressive this season? Aside from a dominating performance at home against the Bears, the offense hasn’t done a whole lot. And that game against the Jets on Sunday was way closer than it should have been. But I’m not worried, two of their next four games are against the dumpster fire Broncos. They’ll figure things out.

8. Lions – I’d be more invested in this team, but the Rams have been better than expected, so I haven’t been able to invest 100 percent of my fandom into Detroit. But man, is it a pleasure to see this franchise do well, because the fans deserve it. They’ve shown up every year to see a team routinely kick them in the groin. Now the on-field product is coming through. They’ve got offensive weapons and a defense that can get stops. And did you know they’ve beaten the Packers four times in a row? When was the last time that happened?

9. Seahawks – Lost in my drooling over first-round quarterbacks is who this team grabbed with the No. 5 overall pick this year: Cornerback Devon Witherspoon. Pete Carroll loves defensive backs and the organization knows how to draft that position. And Witherspoon’s 97-yard interception return for a touchdown and two sacks against the Giants shows that Seattle has a star on its hands.

10. Buccaneers – I like to have fun with this spot. Every week usually brings a different team here. And this week, It’s Tampa. They’re 3-1 and their only loss was to the Eagles – and watching that game, they left plays on the field that would have made the final score much closer. Good for them. And good for Baker Mayfield. I’m still a simp for him.

WHAT’S THE CHATTER?

Clown of the week award: Sid Saraf. I went on a rant last week about Taylor Swift and her fans invading my NFL space. Then I saw 100 other professional cavemen around the sports media landscape have the exact same take and I felt like a hack. Nicole Auerbach wrote a piece for The Athletic this week that made me feel dumb. Why wouldn’t the NFL try to expand their fanbase? Is it annoying to see Taylor Swift celebrate with Blake Lively in a luxury suite? For me, yes. But I’m just some idiot. Be better, Sid. Allow new people to join your little self-described fiefdom, you Philistine.

Sky is falling: I wanted to lead this week’s piece describing my worries about the Bengals. Then everyone else did it and I had nothing to add. Just know that I agree with them. Yes, this team had a slow start last season, but this looks and feels different. Joe Burrow looks off. And what’s worse, he looks tentative. Now Ja’Marr Chase is clearly frustrated because he used locker room language to point out that he is indeed always open. Can’t say I blame him for being angry. Wide receivers are totally dependent on who is throwing them the ball. And right now, they’re throwing their season into the ground.

My new son: You might not know this, but I’ve adopted children recently. One is Caleb Williams, who is the defending Heisman Trophy winner and the future No. 1 overall draft pick. The other is Rams rookie receiver Puka Nacua. Neither of these young men know this yet, but they’ll find out eventually. Nacua has been nothing short of a godsend as L.A. plucked him out of BYU with a fifth-round pick. Through four games, he has 39 catches for 501 yards, which is a record-setting pace. And with the Rams hopefully getting Cooper Kupp back in the next week or two, they suddenly have a very interesting offense.

They stink … for now: I had thoughts about the Steelers before the season started. But they didn’t include them getting blown out on the road against a rebuilding Texans team. This team isn’t good. But you know what? They’re still going to finish .500 or better, because Mike Tomlin always does that. But judging by his recent comments, Tomlin is getting grumpy. As he should.

Love this guy: Joshua Dobbs was pretty much cast aside as an NFL afterthought. I forgot he was still available before the Cardinals signed him off the scrap heap a couple weeks before the season started. But he’s taken his chance and run with it, winning the starting job in Kyler Murray’s absence and not just managing, but flourishing. No matter what happens going forward, Dobbs should have a job in the NFL for at least the next decade, be it as a starter or backup.

APPOINTMENT VIEWING FOR WEEK 5

Can you believe we’re already more than a month into the season? Wow.

Bears at Commanders: Normally, I’d say avoid this game like a plague. But, it’s Thursday night and I really want to see Justin Fields get a win. The young man has been put through the wringer in Chicago and he needs to build his confidence.

Jaguars at Bills: I could lie and say I liked what I saw out of Jacksonville last weekend, but I live on the west coast. I didn’t get up early to see that London game. But they won, so yay! Now they get to travel to upstate New York to face a defense that’s been taking teams apart. Who knows, it could be close for a while.

Texans at Falcons: C.J. Stroud deserves our attention. It’s funny: When Stroud does well, I’m super supportive. When Brock Purdy – a man selected with the literal last pick in the draft – does well, I turn up my nose. Like I said before: I. Am. The. Worst. I’m clearly a huge draft position snob.

Titans at Colts: I make fun of the AFC South a lot, but after Tennessee stomped out Cincinnati last week, this weekend’s matchup just got more interesting.

Ravens at Steelers: Based on what I’ve seen so far, Baltimore shouldn’t have much of a problem in this one. But this is a strong division rivalry, so all rules are out the window.

Eagles at Rams: Before the season started, I had this marked down as an easy win for Philly. Now I’m not so sure. I still think the Eagles win this one, in no small part because this will be a de facto home game for them. People like to say that Eagles fans travel well, but I disagree. They don’t travel, they just tend to move to cities in California and Florida and screw up our traffic because Philadelphia is a dump. But whatever, enjoy SoFi Stadium, I guess. It’s a very welcoming place for outsiders.

Bengals at Cardinals: Can you imagine if Cincy loses this game? Hoo boy.

Chiefs at Vikings: I’m sure Taylor Swift will be at this game. Yippee. I love seeing the NFL expand its viewership. Seriously, I’m beside myself with joy.

Cowboys at 49ers: The unquestioned game of the week. I was arrogant and thought that Dallas would take Brocky Purdy apart last postseason, but that didn’t happen. I expect Purdy to stand strong again and lead San Francisco to another victory.

Packers at Raiders: It’s Monday night, what else are you gonna watch?

Enjoy the games!