2023 NFL: Previewing Week 6

You don’t have to be great at poker to win a hand. When you get pocket aces, who needs skill? Half the work has already been done for you. All you have to do is sit back, wait for the flop and more times than not, you’re taking the pot.

Which brings me to the Falcons, a member of arguably the most uninteresting division in the NFL, the NFC South.

I wouldn’t say they’re a bad team, they’re just not special. Which makes sense, because they’re on the come up. But they were gifted the pro football equivalent of pocket aces. After squeaking by the rebuilding Texans on Sunday, they now sit at 3-2 and their schedule the rest of the way is amazingly soft.

Of their 12 remaining games, they face only three teams that currently have a winning record. Granted, they play the Saints and Buccaneers twice, and while they’re both above .500, would anyone consider them to be among the league’s elite? Nah. The other team they face with more wins than losses is the Colts, who are also not world-beaters.

The Falcons have a middling quarterback in Desmond Ridder and while their defense is in the top 10 in yards per game and points allowed, they’re next to last in sacks and somewhere in the middle at forcing turnovers. If that’s not the definition of nothing special, I don’t know what is.

And yet, I can easily imagine this team getting to double-digit wins and finding a way into the playoffs. Now, let’s take a flight out to Southern California real quick.

The Los Angeles Rams were done no favors with their schedule. They’re currently 2-3, but every team they’ve faced has a winning record except for the Bengals, who were widely picked to at least be a playoff team, if not more, before the season started.

They played the 49ers close, hung in there against the Eagles and maybe should have won a Monday night game in Cincinnati. They took apart the 3-1 Seahawks and beat the Colts, both on the road.

Well, now that they’ve got through those tough tests, will life get easier? Uhhh, no. Here’s what lies ahead from now through Week 18: Home against the Steelers (a de facto road game because there will be tons of Pittsburgh fans at SoFi Stadium), at the Cowboys, at the Packers, home against the Browns (another de facto road game), at the Ravens, home against the Saints and a couple more division games sprinkled in.

Here’s my point: The Rams are objectively a better team than the Falcons. And yet, they will likely be sitting at home once the postseason starts while Atlanta will probably be around in the playoffs and get head coach Arthur Smith a contract extension.

All because one team got dealt a bad hand and the other landed pocket aces. Sigh. That’s football for you.

NFL’S TOP 10

1. 49ers – How did we get here? Brock Purdy for MVP?! Yep, the chatter is happening and as much as I’m pulling my hair out, I can’t argue with the results. He’s the best in the league in QB rating, No. 1 in Total QBR (a dumb ESPN stat, but whatever), second in completion percentage and he hasn’t thrown an interception. It’s maddening because he seemingly has a clean pocket and a lifetime to throw on every play. It’s like he’s running a 7-on-7 drill out there. But life is good for him and for San Francisco. This team is a pleasure to watch. Kudos to what the organization has built.
2. Eagles – Was the score close for a long time against the Rams? Yes, but Philly’s second-half performance was impressive. They just used their brute strength and leaned on L.A. until they gave in. If that’s how the Eagles are going to win games this year, go right ahead. That being said, that Brotherly Shove push play needs to be outlawed. That’s ridiculous.
3. Lions – This is a team that’s a shining example of why the NFL is fun. It’s so great to see a team take the next step and start pushing people around. And that’s what the Lions are doing. Do I really feel they’re the third-best team in the league? Not really, no. But I like giving short-term credit. And speaking of easy schedules, they have a pretty nice path ahead of them. They should be able to wrap up this division race without much of a problem.
4. Dolphins – We’re going to learn more about this team on Oct. 22, when they face the Eagles in a Sunday night game in front of the entire country. But until then, they’re putting up a lot of points against bad defenses. They’re fun, no doubt about that, but are they for REAL? That remains to be seen.
5. Chiefs – I’m being a jerk, I know. I should have them ranked ahead of Miami, but again, I just don’t like what I’m seeing out of Kansas City. They’re just … meh. And that’s not a word I should be using about the defending Super Bowl champions. They’re 4-1 meh, but still meh. Maybe it’s their receivers, or lack thereof. Coincidentally, it appears the Jets are putting Mecole Hardman on the trading block. He’s a familiar face who might help out if he returns to the Chiefs, just saying.
6. Bills – There’s a scene in “Anchorman” when Ron Burgundy throws a burrito out of his car window and hits Jack Black, knocking him off his motorcycle. The latter gets up with a wild look in his eyes and says, “what the hell bro?!” That was how I felt when I saw the Bills, who I lavished praise on last week, spill their tray of crumpets in London against the Jaguars. Sometimes football doesn’t make any sense. You really must beat the teams you’re supposed to beat.
7. Seahawks – They were on their bye last week and still managed to move up two spots in these rankings. That can happen when people around you trip over themselves. Which brings us to our next team.
8. Cowboys – My mom likes to tell a story about the time I was a baby and we took a trip to the World Trade Center. We got to the top floor and as she tells it, I gave her the quadruple treatment. That means I pooped, peed, threw up and got a nosebleed. Dallas did exactly that against San Francisco on Sunday night. What a god awful mess that was. The only thing for them to do is throw the game tape away and move on. I refuse to believe the Cowboys are this bad, but good lord, get it together.
9. Ravens – I wouldn’t take too much from that loss in Pittsburgh. The Steelers really needed that game and yet, Baltimore still had several chances to win. But going with a running theme this week, the Ravens do have some tough matchups coming up, including against the Lions, Seahawks and back-to-back division games against the Browns and Bengals.
10. Jaguars – You beat a solid team like the Bills, you get rewarded with a spot in these rankings. And they’re above .500. Kudos.

 

WHAT’S THE CHATTER?

Clown of the Week Award: Sean Payton. There was a time when I really liked this guy. His Saints teams were creative and fun to watch. And he was never afraid to take chances. Now he’s just a jerk. He didn’t need to bash the Broncos’ previous head coach, saying that the man did “one of the worst coaching jobs in the history of the NFL.” But he did. And now they’re 1-4. Hey, Sean … your team STINKS.

Feel-good moment: Speaking of Denver’s former coach, I absolutely loved seeing the happiness on Nathaniel Hackett’s face on Sunday. He’s the Jets’ offensive coordinator now, and his team, with Zach Wilson at quarterback, went into the Mile High City and beat the Broncos. Hackett’s smile was ear to ear, and he was being slapped on the back and hugged by his players and fellow coaches. He never whined when things didn’t go his way, he took his lumps and picked himself off the ground. Revenge can be oh, so sweet.

Home is overrated: Here’s an interesting stat. Road teams in the NFL are 41-37 this season. The Jaguars and Rams haven’t won in their own stadiums, the Lions’ one loss has been at home. Same with the Chiefs. What’s going on? That’s a good question. It’s one I don’t have an answer for at the moment, but let’s keep an eye on this.

Someone save this kid from himself: I’ve been on quite the rollercoaster with Anthony Richardson. At first, I thought he wasn’t good enough, then I grudgingly admitted that what he was doing was good enough and now, I’m just terrified he’s going to get hurt. And it sucks, but I was right about the third one. While carrying the ball on a designed run (commence eye roll), he took a hit and suffered an AC joint sprain in his throwing shoulder. Now he’s on injured reserve, and more troubling, Colts head coach Shane Steichen said there’s no timetable for his return. And there shouldn’t be. Be very careful, take all the time that’s needed and then some before putting the young man back out there. And for god’s sake, don’t put him in harm’s way!

Sheer brilliance: Who would have thought to start D.J. Moore in fantasy last week? Oh, that’s right, it was yours truly. Please, form a single file line to compliment me after Moore went off for 230 yards and three touchdowns against the Commanders. And don’t pay any attention to the rumors that I only started Moore because I had no other options. Those are all vicious lies.

 

APPOINTMENT VIEWING FOR WEEK 6

Broncos at Chiefs: I don’t typically root for defending champions to do well, but I’ll make an exception in this case. Sean Payton is such a d-bag, that I’d like to see Patrick Mahomes throw 6 touchdown passes. In the first half, if possible.

Ravens vs. Titans (London): Baltimore is coming off a loss, but don’t think that this game vs Tennessee in London will be a cakewalk. If nothing else, the Titans are a tough out.

Commanders at Falcons: See? What did I tell you about the Falcons’ schedule? But like I’ve said before, teams coming off a bad loss are usually dangerous opponents. Expect to see a lot of life out of Washington.

Seahawks at Bengals: This one should be fun. If Cincinnati wins here, they’ll be back at .500 and can put another ugly start behind them. But Seattle is rested after coming off a bye week, so this should be a pretty even matchup.

49ers at Browns: Trap game for the Niners? Hmmm, possibly? Brocky Purdy hasn’t faced much of a challenge, but Cleveland’s defense is arguably the best in the league. And San Francisco’s defense leads the league in points allowed. So we could see a low-scoring slugfest here. Or the 49ers could lean on their running game and grind out a victory. Actually, I like that idea better.

Colts at Jaguars: I make fun of the AFC South a lot, but this could be an entertaining game. Gardner Minshew is no slouch and should be able to carry the team well in Anthony Ricardson’s absence.

Lions at Buccaneers: I’m rooting for Detroit as a fan, but if Tampa wins, I’ll be happy for Baker Mayfield. So there are no bad outcomes, as far as I’m concerned.

Cowboys at Chargers: Two teams I can’t make heads or tails of. Should be a fun one. Plus, it’s Monday night, what else are you gonna watch?

Enjoy the games!