NFL Picks: Week 2

Well, that was quite the start!

Week 1 of the NFL season had everything: hard hits (on Cam Newton, at least), national anthem protests, thrilling comebacks and one horrifyingly bad offensive performance from my rechristened Los Angeles Rams.

I’ll take it. Now, I’m ready for seconds. But first, a quick look back.

(You can discuss this on the BSL Board here.)

My Week 1 picks: 7-8

Welp, here’s hoping you didn’t take my advice to Las Vegas. Here’s a lesson for you: Never try and be smart. The truth comes out in the end.

I thought I’d be clever and take the Browns over the Eagles – with their rookie QB — and look what happened. I figured the Titans would take care of business against a Vikings team with a big question mark at quarterback and look what happened. I figured the Redskins would find a way to win their home opener and … you get the idea.

At least the Lions and Chiefs made me look smart.

Raise your glass to: Jack Del Rio.

The Raiders head coach showed some serious stones late in the fourth quarter in New Orleans by going for the 2-point conversion instead of kicking it for the tie and forcing overtime. It paid off in a big victory.

Boo this man: Kenny Stills

OK, I’m not one to pile on someone for a mistake. We all make them – hell, I made several of them just last week.

However, there’s a mistake and there’s screwing up royally. The Dolphins wide receiver was the target of a perfectly placed deep pass from Ryan Tannehill (for once) and didn’t have a defender within 7 yards of him. Easy touchdown, right? Wrong.

The ball bounced off his hands and the Dolphins ended up losing to the Seahawks 12-10. And of course, people who didn’t actually watch the game were quick to heap blame on Tannehill for coming up short in a big game again, but had Stills taken care of business, we’d be singing RT’s praises.

Stills said later that the mistake would make him a stronger player going forward. Here’s hoping that’s true. Because another gaffe like that and he’ll be bagging groceries – that is, if he can be trusted to not drop the Cocoa Pebbles (sick burn!)

OK, now on to Week 2!

JETS AT BILLS

I hate Thursday games. First, as someone who’s been around for a few years, I’m not used to watching pro football on that day. Second, the games are an awful watch because it’s easy to see the players aren’t fully recovered from the week before. I cringe every time I see a running back hit a wall of defenders. It’s inhumane!

/rant.

Anyway, this one should be easy enough to predict. The Jets fell short against the Bengals at home in Week 1, but they sacked Andy Dalton 7 times and now get to tee off against a Bills offense that managed just 160 yards against the Ravens.

That Gang Green defensive front should be able to eat well in this one.

Pick: Jets

SAINTS AT GIANTS

Big Blue took a trip to the Big Easy last season and it was a memorable day for Eli Manning, who threw an impressive 6 touchdown passes. Great, right?

Not really. The Giants lost that game … 52-49. I’ll say that again: The Giants scored 49 points and lost because their defense gave up 52 points.

“That was one of those games where you don’t watch the film because you’re just disgusted by it,” linebacker Jonathan Casillas told the New York Daily News.

Will that disgust carry over into Sunday’s game? It should. There’s no way Drew Brees is going into the Meadowlands and throwing for 505 yards again.

Pick: Giants

49ERS AT PANTHERS

I’m an unapologetic Chip Kelly fan. The man’s a genius, even if he does look like your childhood next-door neighbor who always cleans out your supply of Chips Ahoy.

The 49ers did some nice things in Week 1. Blaine Gabbert looked like he knew what he was doing, Carlos Hyde showed good instincts and broke off some solid runs and that attacking defense was fast and in the right place all game. I’ll say the team as a whole looked great.

Too bad they’re going to look bad this week.

The 49ers aren’t facing the Rams and their penalty-drawing, ejection-getting, Case Keenum-throwing, Todd Gurley-struggling, linebacker-disappearing roster.

They’ve got the Panthers on Sunday on the road. And the defending NFC champs are coming off a 10-day break. Sorry, guys.

Pick: Panthers.

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS

“I think we were ready to play. We just didn’t make the necessary plays to win.”

It appears the Redskins’ Jay Gruden has his coach speak in midseason form. Too bad his players didn’t follow suit in Week 1.

OK, I’m being crabby because the Redskins made me look stupid for picking them to beat the Steelers. However, they were within a touchdown of a tie game in the second half, but couldn’t hold off the Steelers offense – missing Le’Veon Bell and Martavis Bryant – from making big plays and moving the ball at will.

Will that happen again this week? Don’t think so. Look for the Redskins to stack the box against the visiting Cowboys and hopefully force rookie QB Dak Prescott to throw the ball another 45 times. If they do, they’ll get their first W.

Pick: Redskins

DOLPHINS AT PATRIOTS

How? Seriously, how? HOW in the hell did the Patriots beat the Cardinals last week? How does a team missing Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski and Rob Ninkovich (among others) go on the road and beat a healthy Cardinals team that was in the NFC Championship Game last season?

I’ll tell you how: Bill Belichick is a witch. He must be. That’s the only reason for what happened last week. And I’m not having it.

You think I have the guts to pick the Dolphins here? I don’t care how close they played the Seahawks, I’m not making another foolish decision.

Pick: Patriots

BENGALS AT STEELERS

“BAH, GAWD! WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH!!”

Sorry, just getting my Jim Ross ready for this one. AFC North games always make me feel a tad guilty for loving football. Lord, these teams really hit hard and with smiles on their faces. It’s the closest you’ll come to the first Colosseum scene in “Gladiator.”

Unfortunately, I have to pick a winner. The Bengals won’t have Vontaze Burfict (suspended) and Tyler Eifert (injury) this week. I mentioned whom the Steelers are missing above. Seems that things are pretty equal.

And like I say, when all things are tied, go with revenge. The Bengals are probably still smarting from that choke job in last season’s playoffs, when they gakked a sure win at home. They’d love nothing more than to take it to the hated Black and Gold in the latter’s house.

Will I regret this pick? Maybe, but I’m still taking the plunge.

Pick: Bengals

RAVENS AT BROWNS

Before I address this game, I’d like to talk about Robert Griffin III for a minute.

For the love of all that is holy, can the poor guy GET A BREAK? I’m no RG3 apologist, but I’m also not the type of person who takes extreme pleasure in bashing the guy. Yes, it’s true he acted a tad … shall I say …. douchey in Washington and failed to live up to his incredible rookie season.

But people are allowed to redeem themselves and I was hoping he’d leave the bad memories behind and enjoy a career revival in Cleveland. He didn’t even get out of the first month without suffering a shoulder injury that will have him laid up until God knows when.

So, now the Browns get the Ravens for their home opener, with Josh McCown under center. The Browns are a bad team. They’ll act like one again on Sunday.

Pick: Ravens

TITANS AT LIONS

Remember Calvin Johnson? He was awesome.

The Lions offense didn’t seem like it missed Megatron last week as Matthew Stafford threw for 340 yards and 3 TDs without an interception in a win over the Colts. And he spread the ball around to eight different receivers to boot.

Not to play armchair psychologist here, but maybe it’s freeing for Stafford to not feel the pressure to look for Johnson on every passing down as a default. Just a thought …

Anyway, the Titans are coming to town and they need their running game to step up in ways it didn’t last week (64 total yards). That’s going to be a tough task to do that and keep Detroit’s offense from exploding in its home opener.

Pick: Lions

CHIEFS AT TEXANS

The Chiefs could have folded up after going down by 21 points in the second half last week, but they didn’t and won in overtime. Kudos to them for that.

That won’t happen again this week. The Texans are anxious to pay the Chiefs back for that 30-0 wild-card round drubbing in last season’s playoffs and they have a capable quarterback under center in Brock Osweiler.

Even with linebacker Brian Cushing (knee) and left tackle Duane Brown (quad surgery) out for this game, expect a spirited Houston effort in front the home fans in a close game.

Pick: Texans

SEAHAWKS AT RAMS

Serves me right for being a homer.

I picked the Rams to win on Monday night because my heart was finally bleeding Blue and Gold again after so many years. And the team repaid my renewed loyalty by playing one of the worst games I’ve ever seen. Sigh.

But I’m not jumping off the bandwagon. I have high hopes for Sunday. Am I calling for the upset? Hell, no! But I do think they’ll score their first points of the 2016 season.

And to me, that’s a win.

Pick: Seahawks

BUCCANEERS AT CARDINALS

How about that Jameis Winston, eh? I wanted to see the QB make strides in his sophomore season and he sure looked the part while throwing 4 TD passes in Tampa’s big win over the Falcons.

Will the Bucs make it two straight road wins to start 2016? I can’t see that happening. I hate to be Overreaction Guy, but the Cardinals really don’t want to start in an 0-2 hole while playing in the same division as the Seahawks.

Arizona’s offense is looking to break loose with some big plays after being limited for the most part in last week’s loss to the Patriots. However, QB Carson Palmer doesn’t seem to be worried.

 “This is the NFL,” Palmer told the Associated Press. “You’re not going to come in and just throw the ball deep every series and hit them. We’re still going to take our shots. We’re still going to get them.”

Here’s hoping they do.

Pick: Cardinals

JAGUARS AT CHARGERS

Yay, here’s a matchup of teams that almost won their last game. However, the Jaguars have to be feeling better about themselves because at least they had the ball with a chance to win the game against the Packers at home in Week 1.

What’s more, their emerging defense held Aaron Rodgers to just 199 yards passing and the team to less than 300 total yards.

Meanwhile, the Bolts had a nice lead in Kansas City and let it slip through their fingers. Something about this organization just bothers me … and now they’ve lost WR Keenan Allen for the season and rookie defensive end Joey Bosa won’t be in uniform again this week.

Gimme Jacksonville all day.

Pick: Jaguars

FALCONS AT RAIDERS

So, after their thrilling win in New Orleans, this question must be asked: Are the Raiders really that good?

“Everyone on this team is so confident in what we can do,” Oakland QB Derek Carr told the Associated Press. “It’s not arrogant, it’s not that we think we’re better than anybody. We respect every team that we play. At the same time, we know the work we’ve put in. We know how to compete.”

Well, it’s clear the Raiders have supreme confidence in themselves. And they’re getting lucky by getting to play a Falcons team that didn’t record a sack in last week’s loss to Tampa Bay.

Furthermore, wide receiver Julio Jones is still struggling to play through an ankle injury. Sorry, Hotlanta, it’s Ho-and-2 for you.

Pick: Raiders

COLTS AT BRONCOS

Did you see what the Broncos defense did to Cam Newton last week? Those were some snuff-film caliber hits they laid on a very large quarterback.

Can you imagine what they’re going to do to Andrew Luck, a man who has no offensive line or running back help whatsoever?

This is going to ugly. Hopefully, it’s not a bloodbath.

Pick: Broncos

PACKERS AT VIKINGS

Shhh, it’s a secret.

Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer isn’t going to tell anyone who is starting at QB this week in their home opener. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s to mess with the Packers so they don’t know whom to prepare for.

OK, hold everything. Green Bay will either face immobile Sam Bradford, or the immobile Shaun Hill. So, even though there might be different things each QB will do schematically, does it really make that much of a difference?

But I like the Vikings in this one. Their defense played well both times they faced Aaron Rodgers and Co. last season and I don’t expect things to change, even with Jordy Nelson back in the Packers lineup.

And with a Sunday night crowd filling up their shiny new stadium, strong defense and Adrian Peterson – plus whomever is under center – that should be enough.

Pick: Vikings

EAGLES AT BEARS

Carson Wentz in primetime, baby!

OK, this is usually the time after a phenom QB bursts on to the scene where we see a bit of a regression. Wentz played well and looked great throwing the ball downfield in last week’s win over the Browns.

He won’t do that again, right? He’s just a rookie, right?

Well, the Eagles get the Bears on the road on Monday night. Chicago’s defense allowed the Texans to convert on 12 of 20 third-down opportunities in Week 1 and blew a 14-point halftime lead.

The Bears D won’t wilt like that at home, but this team is just so … blech, that I can’t see myself picking them. Even against a rookie quarterback.

Pick: Eagles